My Other Mother

I remember the first time I knew my Mother was drunk and I was so embarrassed. I was 9 and had gone to spend the night with my friend Christine. Mother came to pick me up and instead of coming to the door; stood out side of the car and blew the horn. Her tassled Lampshade looking sun hat on her head screaming " Tina Nanette get out herer!!", I knew she was drunk and remembered my Daddy telling me never to get in the car with her if she had been drinking. I called Daddy at his office and he said do not go out stay inside. Before Daddy could get there a neighbor called the Police. And sure enough there was a scene that ended with them taking Mother to jail while I was with my friend crying...... Daddy did not go get her till the next day.
Then there was the time I was about 4 that she first went to Big Spring State Mental Hospital. Daddy did not know what else to do? That is what the Dr's said she needed. They gave her shock treatmens She went again when I was  10 and when she came home she would have seisures and we would have to hold her down. What fun for a child right?The kids that knew she was there teased me about my "Crazy Mother".
When she came back and was Room Mother she showed up a party at school drunk. I was so embarrassed. Funny thing is I never ever saw my Mother take a drink. I saw the after effect. She was a closet drunk. When she died we found vodka bottles hidden all around the house.
I would have dreams at night that I had 2 Mother's. One good and One bad. The bad one would pretend she loved me and trick me. Then BAM the bad Mother would appear. I guess that is a child's way or coping.
Poor Daddy did the best he could. He loved Mother but looking back I realize what he went through for me. like
When I was about 8 I woke up and could not find Mother. For some reason I slept in Mother's bed and Daddy had his own room. I remember because of Mother;s back she had to sleep with a board under the matteras. Daddy said he could not sleep that way. I always wondered why they weren't like normal parents that slept together.Anyway I found her in the kitchen in a pool of blood. She had slit her wrisrs. I screamed, Daddy came and then the ambulance. Another show for the neighbors from the Crazy Bradshaw house. I remember the police and bloody towels on the back porch.
I came home one day around 10  and Mother had been drinking. She had called all the family to tell them she was unhappy and Daddy mistreated her etc. When I got home she had one of Daddy's guns out and told me she was going to kill my Daddy when he got home.While we were ont the floor this 10 year old girl tried to reason with her drunk mother. "Momma you love Daddy, you don't want to kill him. Then she said "well then I will kill myself". So this 10 year old girl said" No Mama, you don't want to kill yourself I love you", From what I can remember shortly after this she passed out on the floor and I took the gun away from her...... Daddy came home and I told him what happened.That is when she went to The State Hosptial for help the second time.
Funny thing when Mother was not drinking she could be so sweet and loving and give you the shirt off her back if you wanted it. She sang around the house" The Old Rugged Cross", "Please Release Me" and "Winter Wonderland". I loved that Mother alot. She loved to let me stay up and watch old movies with her. She would tell me each actors name and if she had met them. One of her husbands Felix Tanco was a Producer of The Cisco Kid TV show. Mother got to meet and hang with George Goebel, Buddy Ebson and more. She loved movies and gave me my love for them too.
That is the fun Mother who would never hurt me .It is the one who did things that I don't understand that has given problems and nightmares.Memories now come back that I have long repressed.......